I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
