I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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