The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
