And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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