On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
