he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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