That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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