Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
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I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
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can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.