i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
