Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize