...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
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May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?