Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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