I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
