I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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