a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
