the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I party with great urgency now.
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