I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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