When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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