I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
