I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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