dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
