I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
