When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
