Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
