so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
