Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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