This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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