Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
