I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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