I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
