I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
