quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
