So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
