everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
