Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
