Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
