My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just pee glitter
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize