I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
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Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
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When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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