you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
