This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize