I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
3 2 1 whiskey
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.