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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...

  Fav 7 944 1744

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.

  Fav 126 1700 4115

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• (607): View more from New York

  he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.

  Fav 21 1300 4375

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Actions speak louder than pants.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...

  Fav 3 1400 765

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?

  Fav 7 1443 1181

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (510): View more from California

  Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.

  Fav 0 828 492

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(

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