DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
