You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
