allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
