dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
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