i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
