Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
