It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
