I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I want a musical about memes.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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