remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
is wine microwaveable?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
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I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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