allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
