I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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