Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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