Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There r osticjed everywhere
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
