another moral hangover. fuck.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
