remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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