I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
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I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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