Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I love black thongs
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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