there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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