we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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