She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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