i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
