I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
