I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
