I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My ass is underappreciated
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
