Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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