so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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