I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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