Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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