My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
