He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
