dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
