help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
