He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize