how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
